I’m like, ‘Hey, what’s up, hello.'

I'm not ashamed to admit I have quite the obsession with the song "Trap Queen" by Fetty Wap. You can use any search engine to find the song in the event you've escaped hearing his pop culture triumph on the radio at some point this year. The embarrassment comes when I admit how few of the lyrics I understand. Here's an example:

"It's big ZooWap from the bando, remind me where I can't go"

I could use an app to explain the references for virtually every lyric of this song.


Rembert Browne from Grantland did a beautiful job breaking down the song for us at the beginning of summer. He writes, "There’s a palpable confusion surrounding this song, largely based on the question “Why can I not stop listening?” I’ve been there, and chances are you’re there too. So let’s figure it out."

Obviously he was in my head. I could copy and paste many other lines from his deep analysis, but then we'd be bordering on plagiarism. I'll settle for this:

"If you’re in a crowd, you’ll want to look right at someone and rap it to them. This person will mostly likely be rapping it right back at you — a trend that can continue for the rest of the verse."

Now, I imagine you're wondering why I'm 4+ months late in celebrating Fetty, as he should absolutely be adulated. That reason is threefold:

1) I'm consistently behind on trends. This is fact. Example a) I have sandals from 5th grade that I still wear. Often. They fit and I like them and that is that.

Shout out to my grandma, for passing on the Hartzog feet.
Example b) I take forever to commit to new trends even if (a BIG IF) I notice them. I just last month had my hair dyed in an ombré fashion, a solid three years after I first thought about possibly trying it. I couldn't begin to tell you when the trend began.

Enjoy the glamour shot.

Oh, you can't tell my hair is colored? That's because I was chicken and went for only the most subtle lightening of color. Behind trend? I rest my case.

2) Taylor Swift brought Fetty Wap out in concert recently, and it bummed me out considerably.

Don't get me wrong-- this is not generic hating of Taylor Swift. I kinda think it's amazing the way she's taken over the world.

 I just question how big the overlap is in the Venn diagram of her and Fetty Wap's fan demographics. I don't think I want that overlap to be very large.

(Semi related: here's a think piece regarding her potential disingenuousness that hits the nail squarely on the head for me.)

I was turned off of his brand for a moment, but I've since recovered.

And finally, reason 3) The whole reason I started this post. THIS GUY IS AMAZING. I officially declare that I want the violin version of Trap Queen played at my wedding. Like, in the church, at the ceremony, Trap Queen will be played. Maybe when I walk in, I don't know. I've got time to figure it out. I'll keep you updated.

It's so beautiful. I might cry now. (She says as she hits play on the YouTube video for a third time..)

- #hartzogswag posted using BlogPress for iPhone