What's the number for the gambling addiction hotline?

I'm officially the world's best gambler. I NEVER LOSE. (That's obviously a lie.)

However, when it comes to sports betting at my office, I've yet to lose. In 2014, I joined a Fantasy Football league in my office. I was so un-optimistic about that year that my team name was "Low Expectations." Though the season started out close.....

so close...

I eventually won $350 after an initial $50 buy in - netting $300.

It's a risky move beating your boss in the playoffs..

When 2015's season came around, I very nearly didn't play. I figured I should quit while I was ahead; no way I could repeat last year's success, right? Incorrect. I won, and I won big, taking home $412.50.

We had some issues with a league commissioner who didn't want to pay out, so I made sure to share my feelings on the situation with our office at large-- the profanity-free version, though.


For anyone keeping score, I'd netted $662.50 at this point in time.

Most recently, we played a friendly round of Super Bowl Squares.. You've played before, right? You pick a square (or four), numbers are randomly selected, and the individuals with the ending digits that match the score at the end of each quarter take an even share of the pot.

random clipart, obvi not this year's game.
Like the good sport I am, I bought in. Four squares at $5 a pop, I donated $20 to the cause. As you should now have come to expect... I WON. Quarter three, Sarah Hartzog for the win. The total pot was $5x100 squares = $500. Five hundo divided by 4 quarters = Sarah gets $125. That puts me at $767.50 in gambling winnings in the two years I've been in the group at work. As you can likely imagine, my office is fed up with me winning.. Oops. #sorrynotsorry

To make matters worse (..or better? Definitely better)... Remember that DietBet I joined? I took home $183.75 from that bet and $41.87 in another! At least two of my coworkers bought into that round of betting, so technically it counts in my office place risky business. I'm ballin'!

I bet (ha! See what I did there.. "bet?") you're wondering what I'm doing with all my winnings, huh? Every last bit of cash for the last several months has gone to the same place.. Capital One! I'm on an obsessive quest to pay off my car loan before the year is over. Bonus points to myself if I pay it all off before September 2016 -- a whopping FOUR years early! I'll be sure to keep you updated.